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Living Well with Chronic Pain & Illness
Dr Rae Sandler Simon, denver marriage & family therapy, hawaii mental health

As a woman, mother, and clinician living with chronic pain and autoimmune disease, including two spinal fusion surgeries within the last two years, I deeply understand the transformative and often overwhelming effects these conditions have on every aspect of life. For years, I lived life as usual, unaware of just how much pain I was in or how much it was affecting my daily existence. It wasn’t until I stopped to really listen to my body that I realized how profoundly pain had taken a toll on my life—physically, emotionally, and mentally.

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Through my own journey, I discovered that chronic pain doesn’t just limit your ability to do the things you once loved—like skiing, dancing, or traveling. It changes everything. It shifts responsibilities within your family, alters your career and educational goals, and challenges the very identity of who you are and who you want to become.

​​What saved me, and what I now share with my clients, is learning how to truly live with pain, not just survive it. Breathing techniques, mindfulness exercises, and physical activities like pilates, walking, and barre changed my very existence. These practices helped me manage my pain, reduce stress, and reclaim a sense of physical and emotional balance.

But I also learned an invaluable lesson: Asking for support. It's easy to feel like we should “tough it out” on our own, but chronic pain is not something you have to handle in isolation. Whether it’s leaning on family, friends, or a professional, asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it's a crucial part of healing and living fully again.

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Integrating ACT & CBT in Our Work Together

In my approach to supporting those living with chronic pain and illness, I incorporate two evidence-based therapeutic methodologies: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Both of these therapies offer powerful tools to help individuals better manage their conditions, reduce emotional distress, and create meaningful, purposeful lives.

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Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) emphasizes the importance of accepting pain and discomfort, rather than struggling to fight against it. We can’t always control or eliminate pain, but we can control how we relate to it. Through ACT, I will help you:

  • Acknowledge pain and discomfort without allowing it to define your entire life.

  • Live in alignment with your values—even when pain is present—by making choices that move you toward a life of fulfillment and meaning.

  • Develop mindfulness skills to increase awareness of your thoughts and emotions without getting overwhelmed by them.

  • Commit to actions that enhance your well-being and contribute to your personal growth, despite pain or illness.

 

By applying ACT techniques, we will focus on changing your relationship with pain, enabling you to experience life fully—even in the face of chronic conditions.

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When living with chronic pain or illness, negative thoughts can easily take hold, fueling stress, anxiety, and a sense of helplessness. In our work together, we’ll focus on:

  • Identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that may be reinforcing feelings of hopelessness, frustration, or fear.

  • Developing healthier, more realistic ways of thinking about your pain, your body, and your future.

  • Creating behavioral changes that help improve your quality of life—whether that’s developing healthier sleep habits, increasing physical activity, or finding ways to reconnect with activities that bring you joy.

 

By combining ACT’s mindfulness and acceptance strategies with CBT’s focus on thought and behavior transformation, we’ll work together to empower you with the tools you need to live fully, despite chronic pain.

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Living with chronic pain does not mean your life is over—but the hopeless living can end. It’s time to reclaim your life, embrace what’s possible, and move forward with more ease, balance, and purpose than you ever thought achievable.

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Ready to get started? Click here to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation.

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