love your life. live well in love.™
dr rae sandler simon | licensed clinical psychologist
Living Well with Chronic Pain & Illness
As a woman, mother, and clinician living with chronic pain and autoimmune disease, including two spinal fusion surgeries within the last two years, I deeply understand the transformative and often overwhelming effects these conditions have on every aspect of life.
For years, I lived life as usual, unaware of just how much pain I was in or how much it was affecting my daily existence. It wasn’t until I stopped to really listen to my body that I realized how profoundly pain had taken a toll on my life - physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Through my own journey (read more about my journey here), I discovered that chronic pain doesn’t just limit your ability to do the things you once loved - like skiing, dancing, or traveling. It changes everything. It shifts responsibilities within your family, alters your career and educational goals, and challenges the very identity of who you are and who you want to become.
What saved me, and what I now share with my clients, is learning how to truly live with pain, not just survive it. Breathing techniques, mindfulness exercises, and physical activities like pilates, walking, and barre changed my very existence. These practices helped me manage my pain, reduce stress, and reclaim a sense of physical and emotional balance.
Through my journey, I also learned an invaluable lesson: Asking for support. It's easy to feel like we should “tough it out” on our own, but chronic pain is not something you have to handle in isolation. Whether it’s leaning on family, friends, or a professional, asking for help is not a sign of weakness - it's a crucial part of healing and living fully again.
Integrating ACT & CBT in Our Work Together
In my approach to supporting those living with chronic pain and illness, I incorporate two evidence-based therapeutic methodologies: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Both of these therapies offer powerful tools to help individuals better manage their conditions, reduce emotional distress, and create meaningful, purposeful lives.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) emphasizes the importance of accepting pain and discomfort, rather than struggling to fight against it. We can’t always control or eliminate pain, but we can control how we relate to it.
Through ACT, I'll help you acknowledge pain and discomfort without allowing it to define your entire life, live in alignment with your values even when pain is present, develop mindfulness skills to observe your thoughts and emotions without being overwhelmed by them, and commit to actions that enhance your well-being and personal growth despite pain or illness.
By applying ACT techniques, we will focus on changing your relationship with pain, enabling you to experience life fully - even in the face of chronic conditions.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When living with chronic pain or illness, negative thoughts can easily take hold, fueling stress, anxiety, and a sense of helplessness.
In our work together, we'll focus on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that reinforce hopelessness or fear, developing healthier and more realistic ways of thinking about your pain and your future, and creating behavioral changes that improve your quality of life, whether that's better sleep, more physical activity, or reconnecting with what brings you joy.
By combining ACT’s mindfulness and acceptance strategies with CBT’s focus on thought and behavior transformation, we’ll work together to empower you with the tools you need to live fully, despite chronic pain.
Living with chronic pain does not mean your life is over. But living hopelessly with it doesn't have to continue.