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Couples therapy can be a transformative space - whether you’re rebuilding, reconnecting, or simply trying to understand each other more clearly. You don’t have to be equally “ready” to begin, but reflecting on your readiness can help you get the most out of the work.

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To reflect on your own readiness:

• Am I able to regulate my emotions in conflict, or do I still get overwhelmed or reactive?

• When I feel hurt or triggered, how do I tend to respond — and is that helping or harming the relationship?

• Can I stay emotionally present in hard conversations, without shutting down or lashing out?

• What personal healing or growth work is still mine to do before I can fully show up in this relationship?

• What patterns do I keep repeating — and am I ready to shift them?

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​To consider the impact on your relationship and family:

• Is trying to do couples therapy helping us move forward — or making things harder?

• What do our children or loved ones need most from us right now?

• Are we both able to take responsibility for our part, or are we stuck in blame?

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To clarify your hopes and next steps:

• What kind of partner do I want to be — and what kind of partner do I want to be with?

• What needs to shift in me before we could truly begin again?

• What does a peaceful, healthy future look like — and what steps can we take toward that now?

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If You’re Not Sure You’re Ready

It’s very common for one partner to feel more prepared for therapy than the other. In these moments, individual therapy can be a grounding first step. Working individually — before or alongside couples work — can help you:

• Build emotional awareness

• Understand your role in the dynamic

• Strengthen your ability to communicate and repair

• Clarify what you want from the relationship

I often work with individuals in this stage, and I can also refer you to trusted clinicians.
You might also find this brief article helpful: How to Get the Most From Couples Therapy by The Couples Institute — a thoughtful guide on what sets successful couples work apart.

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Taking these steps now can make a meaningful difference in the effectiveness — and long-term success — of the work you do together.

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Wherever you find yourselves — ready to begin, working on communication, healing after a betrayal, starting a family, or simply curious what it’s like to be married to a couples therapist — explore the paths below to find what fits your relationship best.

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Letʻs begin... Schedule HERE

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